With the bustling nature of our society today, we have become accustomed to the hustle culture, always saying “yes” to the point of burning out. We fail to realize that it’s fine to say “no” and choose yourself in every decision you make by being intentional. In Quarter Life Bliss’ episode Shifting to Intentional Living with Alwyn Mancio, Alwyn shares his experience of living intentionally and provided tips on being intentional in everything you do to become a genuine and authentic person.
What is being intentional?
Being intentional is being sure and committed to a goal. Intentional seems a profound word, but it is as simple as asking yourself three easy questions.
Why do you do this?
Who are you doing this for?
Will my decision matter 10 minutes, 7 days, and 5 years from now
These questions are like checkpoints whenever an opportunity knocks on our door. All we have to do is stop, ask these questions, and listen to ourselves. Not every question requires you to say “yes,” it is okay to reject it and say “no.”
“I wanted people to channel their energy to the most important things for them.”- Alwyn
Being mindful VS Having intentions: How do these two work?
Mindfulness is a practice of observing your life and everything happening to you without pre-judgments. This practice will help you assess your current situations and conclude what you should do. The questions stated above are some questions to ask for you to become mindful and present.
Intentional living is being determined to act on the conclusion you have reached through being mindful. It is your eagerness to reach a goal, but then again, you have to sit back and ask yourself some questions before acting on it.
Mindfulness precedes intentions.
“When these two work together (Mindfulness and Intentional Living), you seem to take control of your life rather than opportunities and people controlling you.” - Yani
How can I start being intentional?
Practicing this does not mean you have to spend an hour questioning yourself or buying hundreds of journals to note your observations when you are present. It is as simple as making the time when you wash your dishes a time to process your decisions and whatever is happening around you, or the 3 minutes of waiting when the water boils so you can drink your coffee. You don’t need a grand gesture to start; you just do it.
Every circumstance we face is unique. Some hit rock-bottom before deciding to live intentionally, some are currently pressed with what they are facing, or maybe some don’t want to experience it all. Deciding to do it is a start.
How can being intentional help you live a happy life?
When your life seems too fast and abrupt, you might suffer from shocks from these big changes and huge events. Being intentional allows you to take a step back, slow down, and start taking things one step at a time.
“I have a lot of things on my plate, but do I like these things?” - Alwyn
HOW TO LIVE AN AUTHENTIC LIFE AND LIVE INTENTIONALLY?
Intentional living and authenticity come hand-in-hand. When you live a life of authenticity and genuineness, you are intentional about staying true to yourself.
1. IT IS ALL ABOUT ENERGY.
Have you encountered a situation where the energy doesn’t suit you at all? Do you feel tight and uncomfortable with the people around you? What did you do about it?
“Have a conscious effort to choose. Choose where you put your energy.” - Yani
Dealing with these situations needs your consciousness and being intentional to choose out and say “no”. You are not missing out, you are saving yourself from dealing with anxiety and burnout.
2. BE UNAPOLOGETIC FOR CHOOSING YOU
“The power of no is even stronger than the yeses that I gave.” -Alwyn
Learn not to feel guilty when you reject a party invite because you’d rather stay at home for a nice warm bath—being unapologetic means not worrying what they might think about you when you choose yourself. People might say, “you’ve changed” or “you’re ruining the moment," You don’t have to explain, and you don’t have to apologize.
3. SET BOUNDARIES
Filter. Decide who you surround yourself with. Set boundaries and avoid letting people cross them just so you can please them.
Setting boundaries also means knowing what your non-negotiable values are. Stay true to what you believe in.
4. LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
Master the art of following your gut feeling. If your intuition pushes you to say yes after processing the situation, it may be your stepping stone to success!
“Contemplating is important, yet in different ways. - Alwyn
Pause. Process. Play. Intentional living lets you do these three. Life will seem more harmonious rather than an uncoordinated band. Allow your self to learn from the mistakes you made and unlearn what wasn’t working for you to be intentional.
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