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QLB S4 Episode 1: The Breadwinner's Golden Mindset

Updated: Nov 8, 2022

Written by : Christel Barba

How would you feel if you were the only one in your family capable of providing for them? Is it a responsibility to be a breadwinner of your family?

I am not a breadwinner, but my co-host, Coach Gold, is proof of this as he started sharing and contributing to his family financially even before graduating.

Being the breadwinner of your family is not an easy job; at times, it may feel like you are carrying the entire world on your shoulder. It's tiring, stressful, and draining. As a breadwinner, it is your sole responsibility to provide food on the table, cover household expenses and bring in enough money to meet your family's needs.

In a typical Filipino family setup, it is common in our culture for the eldest child or the most capable child financially to accept the responsibility of becoming the family's primary provider. And being in the Philippines, providing for your family is not easy. Due to the rising cost of living, many families struggle to make ends meet. However, despite the difficulties, breadwinners are still viewed as family heroes.

As Coach Gold says about being a breadwinner:

Bread is a carb and the major source of energy is carbs. So ganun din sa pamilya, ikaw ang main source of energy ng pamilya mo kasi kung ikaw malugmok ka, paano na sila?

As a breadwinner, you must make many sacrifices for your family's sake. It also means that you will put their needs ahead of your own.

So, here are the pros & cons of being a breadwinner:

Pros of being a Breadwinner:

1. You are in control. You’re also the decision-maker of your family.

  • Whether setting up a family budget, grocery shopping, or planning meals, you can decide what to do and buy.

2. Your family is serving you.

  • Since you’re the one who’s been providing for your family’s needs, they will serve you full out.

3. You are motivated to pursue becoming better in your chosen career

  • Since your family depends on you and you aren't just working to support yourself, it gives you a deeper purpose to do everything just to excel in your career.

“ Kasi may hugot ka tulungan ang pamilya mo, you’ll make sure na magaleng ka sa trabaho para mas kumita ng malaki.”

4. It gives you a different kind of fulfillment.

  • Seeing how your hard-earned money gives ease and joy to your family is priceless. And if you were to compare your family's life before being a breadwinner, there must be significant progress

Cons of being a Breadwinner:

1. Setting Aside/ Delaying your own Dreams

  • Since you're not just working for yourself, you'll always think about your family's state. You set aside your dreams and desires just to put their needs ahead of yours.

Naisasantabi mo yung sarili mong pangarap para unahin ang pangangailangan ng pamilya mo.

2. Causes Emotional Distress

  • Being a breadwinner is tiring, stressful, draining, and very challenging. But your family won’t see it all. They don’t see the whole picture of how you tirelessly work hard day and night thinking about all the bills you need to pay.

Whether you are the eldest child, a solo parent, or any member of the family who takes full responsibility for providing for everyone, here are some golden tips to help you have a breadwinner’s golden mindset:

1. Have a clear sense of purpose.

  • Work won't feel like work if your "WHY" is clear. And you won't give up quickly if you have a deep purpose of being a breadwinner.

2. Allow also your family to win.

  • As you win, let your family also win. May it be allowing them to experience going to places they've never been to or treating them to restaurants they've never tried.

3. Set a deadline for how long you’re going to provide.

  • Teach them to be responsible for their own lives. Give them a certain number of years wherein you'll be able to provide, but after that, someone has to step up so you can live your own life as well, and they won't be complacent depending on you.

4. Don’t feel guilty about giving back to yourself.

  • Let go of the guilt whenever you want to treat or date yourself. You deserve and need it too! Don't just give from an empty cup. Next thing you know, you're tired, open, or drained, wala ka nang na ipon. Instead, prioritize yourself first, so you give from an overflowing cup & not from an empty cup.

5. Set boundaries.

  • As a breadwinner, it's your responsibility to set boundaries. It doesn't mean that you're a breadwinner & you've been supporting the needs of your family; you'll be comfortable because you feel that your family gives back after helping them.

Love, Bestie Yani and Bestie Gold

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