"I can do it!"
"No, I cannot do it..."
A dialogue we often have with ourselves is a series of “I can do it” and “No, I cannot.” Doubts and fears easily conquer us, especially when our self-belief is low. This was the same case for my good friend, Miss Universe San Juan Ayn Bernos, as she competed in the Miss Universe Philippines 2021 stage with a lot of heavy expectations she brought and stereotypes she broke.
I am a content creator and an entrepreneur. I never thought that I could be a beauty queen.
In a Quarter-Life Bliss episode with Ayn Bernos, she shared how she constantly experienced Imposter Syndrome. In her journey to the crown, she shared how she struggled to convince herself every day that she belonged in the pageantry field.
But, what is Imposter Syndrome?
-Imposter Syndrome means having low self-belief that makes us doubt our abilities. It makes us feel like a fraud and undeserving of the achievements we worked hard on.
It was a competition against myself, my fears, and my self-doubts.
With all the spotlight pressure placed on Ayn, here's what I learned from how she managed to silence the voices in her head saying that she cannot do it:
1. Do your best and let it speak for itself- Proving to ourselves that we are capable means that we should do our best and just let the outcome speak for our capability. Focus on the work and let everything else flow.\
2. Filter out what people say about you- People will always have something to say about our life, but we don't need to take it all into our system. We should practice filtering out what is true and what feedback we are willing to affect us. Not only will this protect our mental health, but it will also prevent us from having a distorted view of ourselves or our life.
Check-in with yourself. Check in with your mental health and go back to your purpose.
3. Detach your emotions from the praise- Our worth is not dependent on the praise and the compliments people give us. We need to seek validation from ourselves and not from others.
If we know that we did our job and our best, everything else is just noise.
4. Allow yourself to fail- At the end of the day, we are all human beings and we all have seasons of abundance and challenges. Make space for failure and growth.
Dealing with self-doubts and fears is not easy. We need to be gentle and kind to ourselves whenever we do something that might question our worth and our abilities. Imposter Syndrome will never go away, and having this awareness will help us fight it in the long run.
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