In my journey as a life and finance coach, I have often found myself looking at my journey while comparing it to other people. But, I realized that it would not serve me well if I keep on comparing myself to others. This just breeds insecurities and jealousy.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
When scrolling through Instagram, we see influencers or maybe just a friend who’s living a life we’ve always wanted. We then start to look at ourselves and see the gap between how our life looks and how their life looks. We compare ourselves because we see them having the result we want.
Good comparison vs Bad comparison
Comparing yourself can be good as long as you see the other person as an inspiration or a blueprint of what you hope to become in the future. Bad comparison, on the other hand, is beating yourself up for not achieving what others have. Bad comparison can also lead to jealousy which doesn’t quite end well. Be inspired but not insecure.
Disadvantages of comparing yourself to others
1. You will feel stuck and you will start to belittle yourself
I know you agree with me on this one. Comparing yourself to others can psychologically inflict pain because you will start to feel stuck on your journey. You will belittle yourself for not being able to achieve so much. This act of belittling yourself is a downward spiral because this can turn your competitive mode on. You start to see the other person as a competition and you will constantly try to surpass whatever they have achieved.
2. You will try to please everyone as much as you can
The perfect facade will make others compare you less to anyone. This will make you want to please others too much that you forget your identity in the process.
5 practical ways to stop comparing yourself to others
1. Be grateful
If we are in a space of gratitude, we are also in a space of contentment and happiness. Gratitude helps us see our journey and our growth (however big or small) as something worth celebrating and worth thanking for.
Being grateful allows you to think of the positive things in your life, and not see what’s lacking
This practice has been a big part of my growth. It helped me live a fulfilled and abundant life. Gratitude didn’t completely make me stop comparing myself to others, but it helped me look at what I have.
How gratitude changed my language.
From “Uy ang galing niya rito, sana ako rin.” To “Uy ang galing niya rito. Ako naman, sa ganito ako magaling.”
(From “Wow she is really good at this. I hope I can be like her.” To “Wow she is really good at this. I am good at something else too!”)
2. Spend more time with yourself
We spend too much time looking at others that we forget to look and spend time with ourselves
Focus on yourself and raise your self-awareness. If you know your strengths and your qualities, you would not negatively compare yourself to others. Get to know your likes, dislikes, your beliefs, your strengths, and your uniqueness.
How can you spend time with yourself?
-Journaling
-Have a quiet time and reflect
-Talk to yourself or affirm yourself
3. Focus on your journey
Work on you!
Why are you invested in somebody else’s life when you can instead work on yours? It’s okay to look at people and be inspired by their success, but watch and stop yourself when you start feeling insecure. My mentor always said “Your twelve o’clock might not be my twelve o’clock. And my twelve o’clock might not be your twelve o’clock yet. We have our own time. We have our journey.”
Learn to celebrate other people’s success without degrading yourself. Learn to celebrate your success too!
4. Learn everyday
I learn every day so I have less time to focus on others. I also learn from others and apply what they do to my life. This keeps me excited and motivated. Come from the attitude of being open to learning instead of trying to see everyone as a threat or competition. See, learn, and apply.
5. Take a break from social media
Just take it. Social media is the root cause of comparison. Take a break if you still come from a space of competitiveness and jealousy. Being too exposed to the digital space might trigger your insecurities.
Less comparison, more self-respect
Those 5 are some ways you can stop yourself from comparing your life to others. Know that you are uniquely and beautifully made and that comparing yourself to others won’t do you any good.
Listen to the full episode here.
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